My friend Lauren needs help with her website.
If I stopped there, I’d be doing exactly what most people do when someone they care about needs help.
One of two things typically happens next:
Both versions are failures.
Not a single one of those responses would tell me who’s actually right for Lauren.
This is the problem with how most people do referrals. They hear a friend needs help, and they either blast it out to everyone or they text the first name that comes to mind. “Oh, you need a website? You should talk to my buddy Dave. He makes websites.” They feel great about it. They helped two people at once.
Except they didn’t. They helped neither of them.
Dave now has to figure out if this is a project he even wants, at a price he can make work, for a person he knows nothing about. And Lauren has to take a meeting with a stranger based on nothing more than “some guy my friend knows.”
All they did was pass a name along. That’s not a helpful referral. That’s being a middleman.
Valuable referrals are matchmaking. And matchmaking means doing the work to understand both sides before you connect anyone. Most people skip the matchmaking entirely and jump straight to the introduction. That’s backwards.
Let me show you what I mean. My friend Lauren actually does need help with her website. So I’m going to build it in front of you, layer by layer, and show you how each new piece of context transforms a generic ask into a precision match.
Lauren runs a salon that specializes in cutting curly hair. She’s not just any stylist; she’s my stylist, and she’s world-class at what she does. She wins awards. She does trainings for other stylists. She’s built a reputation in a very specific niche, and her clients are fiercely loyal because of it.
Now reread the opening line:
My friend Lauren needs help with her website.
It means something completely different now, doesn’t it?
Lauren doesn’t need “a website.” She needs a website that captures what makes her special: her expertise, specialty, the craft of what she does with curly hair. That’s a very different brief than “small business needs web presence.”
Watch what happens to the pool of candidates when you add this context.
The generalist web designers who’ve never touched a beauty or wellness brand—and who don’t specifically care to—disappear. The developers whose portfolios are full of SaaS dashboards and tech startups seem less relevant. The template builders who’d give Lauren the same site they give every small business all blend in.
But something else happens too: the right people move forward. The designer who’s built salon websites and loved every one of them perks up. The person who specializes in beauty brands and knows exactly how to photograph texture, movement, and curl patterns starts listening more intently.
Specificity shrinks the pool. That’s a feature, not a bug.
Lauren is a busy salon owner. She pours her time, energy, and money into managing and growing the salon… as she should. The salon is the business. The website supports the business, but it’s not where Lauren’s investment instincts go first. Her perception is that she doesn’t have a lot of money to spend on a website.
This is critical context. If I leave it out, I’m setting everyone up to fail.
Without it, a senior designer who charges $25,000 for a website might throw their hat in the ring, have a great conversation with Lauren, put together a proposal, and then never hear back because Lauren would never imagine spending that kind of money on a website and might be too embarrassed to say so. That’s wasted time for the designer. It’s an awkward situation for Lauren. And it makes me look like I don’t know what I’m doing.
Now here’s where most people would see this as a problem. They think that if Lauren doesn’t have a “big budget”—whatever that means—the referral is harder to make. Because the pool is smaller. So she has to “settle.”
I think that’s completely wrong.
The budget context doesn’t limit the match. It reveals it.
Whether you’re a freelancer, an agency, a solo consultant, or something else, most businesses move through phases. Two of those phases matter a lot here.
There’s a phase of growing an agency where you’re building your cash reserves. You’re focused on making as much money as possible. Every project needs to pay well because you’re trying to build a financial cushion to create the space to scale. When you’re in that phase, you evaluate opportunities almost entirely on revenue. “What does it pay?” is the first and sometimes only question.
Then there’s a different phase, one where you're establishing your reputation and building your positioning. You’re trying to become the go-to company in a specific area. But claiming you’re the go-to isn’t enough. You need proof. You need work you can point to that shows you’ve actually done this and done it well. Without that, the clients you want to attract have no reason to believe you. In this phase, you’re not optimizing for the biggest check on every project. You’re optimizing for the right projects: the ones that build your portfolio, your reputation, and your network in the niche you’ve chosen.
These are very different people with very different needs, even if they have the exact same skills.
Lauren’s project is not the right fit for a person or a team building cash reserves. The budget doesn’t match their goals. They’ll either pass on it, or take it and phone it in. Neither outcome is good for Lauren, or for the agency.
But for someone starting to build a position as the go-to web designer for salons and beauty professionals?
Lauren’s project could change everything.
Think about what this project actually offers.
Lauren is an award-winning, well-connected stylist in the curly hair world. She knows other salon owners. She goes to industry events. She does trainings where she’s in rooms full of other professionals in the beauty space.
If a web designer does exceptional work on Lauren’s site, Lauren doesn’t just become a happy client. She becomes proof that you can do this work, and she’s in rooms full of your ideal clients every month. She trains other salon owners. She speaks at industry events. When someone in her world needs a website, she’s the person they ask. That’s not exposure. That’s a distribution channel you couldn’t buy.
For this designer, Lauren’s project isn’t a budget job they’re settling for. It’s a launchpad. They might even be willing to do the work at a lower rate, not because they‘re undervaluing themselves, but because they understand the strategic value of what they're getting.
That’s the right person for Lauren.
Not someone who makes websites. Not even someone who makes good websites. Someone for whom this specific project, at this specific moment in their business, is exactly the opportunity they need.
My friend Lauren does need help with a website.
And now you know everything I know. You know she runs an award-winning salon that specializes in curly hair. You know she’s deeply connected in the beauty industry. You know her budget reflects where her investment priorities are right now. And you know that for the right person—someone building a position as the go-to web designer for salons and beauty professionals—this project isn’t small. It’s strategic.
Are you that person? Do you know that person? If so, please DM me, and I’ll connect you with Lauren. Not because you “make websites.” Because this is your match.
And the next time a friend asks you for help finding someone—before you fire off a name or post a generic ask—do what I just did here. Be the matchmaker, not just the middleman. Learn enough about both sides that you could explain to each person why the other one is the right match.
If you can’t do that yet, you’re not ready to make the introduction.
And that’s okay. A thoughtful introduction next week is worth more than a lazy referral today.
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