Last week, I explained what boundaries are. In short:
Boundaries are property lines that define a person.
That’s already why boundaries are tricky for designers.
As soon as you start identifying what’s in bounds or out of bounds, you’re asking an even deeper question: Who am I?
And that’s where it gets messy.
Most people answer the identity question with roles:
But roles change. They come and go. If you build your boundaries around your roles, every shift in your life reopens the identity question.
Here’s the key:
Roles are what you do. Identity is who you are.
Designers especially struggle with this because so many of us have been taught—or conditioned—to believe that design is who we are. That makes setting boundaries feel like rejecting your own nature.
Here are two simple tips to untangle that:
If no one needed anything from you…
If you didn’t have to earn a dollar…
If your inbox was empty and your Slack was silent…
If your kids were grown and thriving…
If your partner didn’t require your presence…
What’s left?
“I’m a runner” → “I’m resilient” or “I’m strong”
“I’m a parent” → “I care deeply for others”
“I’m a designer” → “I pay attention to detail” or “I value beauty”
The latter are identity statements. They don’t expire, even if they may change or evolve. They travel with you across jobs, relationships, even phases of life.
Now let’s see how that identity can show up in real scenarios where boundaries aren’t just philosophical but practical.
Let’s start simple.
You have a contract with a client to deliver a 5-page website. The client asks for a 6th page. What do you do?
You might think that having boundaries in this scenario would be to say “no.”
But boundaries aren’t just about defense. They’re about clarity.
Remember, boundaries are property lines. Your house has property lines, but just having property lines doesn’t mean that people won’t cross them. If you want to stop people from crossing them, you might make those property lines more visible by putting up a fence, putting up an electrified fence, or getting a vicious dog. These are deterrents that specify the boundaries, but the boundary itself doesn’t keep people out. It’s reminder to you of what parts are in bounds and what parts are out-of-bounds.
In this scenario, 5-pages are in bounds. Any more pages are out-of-bounds. The boundaries here are the agreement you’ve made with the client, signed to in a contract.
Based on the boundaries, “no” isn’t the right answer; it’s only the previously agreed-upon answer.
Remember: useful boundaries should help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life. The big question here is this: do you want to do a 6th page?
If you don’t, that’s ok! While “no” isn’t the right answer, it’s definitely a possible one. And, in this scenario, it’s the most obvious answer, because you’ve already agreed that it’s the answer.
How do you say no? You remind the client about the boundaries—the existing agreement, memorialized in a signed document (the contract)—and you can do that as softly or forcefully as you’d like.
A soft reminder: “Thanks for your request for an additional page, but I’ll be sticking to our original agreement of 5 pages.”
A forceful reminder: “No.”
You may have some reactions to those responses!
Maybe you’re annoyed that you even have to give an answer to the client. They should just know! You agreed to 5 pages already! If you wanted to do 6, you would have initially agreed to 6! We sometimes think that strong boundaries would mean they shouldn’t even ask.
But that’s like saying that, because you have a door on your house, that people shouldn’t ever knock or ring the doorbell. “The door is a sign that they should stay away!”
Nope.
If a door was a sign that people should stay away, then everyone would stay away. Your kids. Your friends. The people you called to fix the broken water heater. A door helps you to keep your family and pets inside. It doesn’t stop anyone from knocking. And you don’t have to let them in, just because they knocked.
Another reaction you may have to the sample responses I wrote is that there’s no explanation for why.
That’s right.
You don’t have to explain anything.
But what if the client doesn’t understand why you’re saying no?
They don’t have to. People don’t have to understand why your property lines extend far out past your curb. They just do. Whether it’s a good reason or a bad reason, the property lines still are what they are.
Let’s play it out.
You explain it to your client as best you can: you have another client lined up and don’t have time to do the additional page. They get it, but they still want the additional page.
Or, you explain it as best you can, but they don’t get it. It’s just one page. Why can’t you just add it? It’s only a few hours of work.
Whether or not they understand, does it change your willingness to do it?
For most of us, we still don’t want to do it, but now we’re annoyed at the client for not getting it and we’re annoyed at ourselves for wasting the time trying to explain.
Ok, what if you do want to do a 6th page? Great! Do it. But there are some nuances to it.
Maybe you’re willing to do it for free. Just start, right?
Hold on, tiger.
The agreement has changed. What was previously out-of-bounds is now in bounds. That’s fine! Boundaries are about what you choose to let in and keep out. You get to choose!
But the boundaries are now unclear because of that choice and change. So, before you do the work, clarify the new boundaries.
One technique I use all the time is to write a short, no-price-change addendum document to the contract that says 6 pages is now in bounds instead of 5. You may be wiling to do an additional page but not more than that, and the resetting of the boundaries makes that clear. The client signing the new addendum ratifies their agreement to the new boundaries.
What if you’re willing to do the additional page, but for an additional fee? That‘s a different of “yes” that I like to call “yes, under these conditions.” The condition is additional payment. If the condition is met, some things that were previously out of bounds can now be in bounds. Again, a signed, short contract addendum ratifies your client’s agreement to these new boundaries.
Ok, that was a very simple example, but you see how much nuance can go into it. Let’s tackle something a bit more complex.
In my Make More Money program, I teach my students the important of narrow positioning. In short, being as specific as you can about what you do and who you do it for is a very effective way to attract the right clients and repel the wrong ones. That’s a form of boundaries: defining very clearly what clients you allow and what clients you don’t.
Let’s say you run an agency that only builds websites for dentists.
You get an inquiry from a podiatrist who wants to hire you to make a website for them. Do you take the project?
The obvious answer is “no.” A podiatrist is not a dentist. (Except for those unicorn podiadentrists out there; shout out to you.)
But what if your business is low on cash? You might consider it, against your previously established boundary of only working with dentists. We’re back in “yes, under these conditions” territory.
This brings up another nuance: few of us have only one boundary. We may have many, some that directly conflict with others. In this scenario, we may want to expand the “only dentists” boundary to an “anyone who has money to spend” boundary. (I think that makes it a tougher business to run, but I digress.)
A useful technique here is to set boundaries for your boundaries, specifically time-based ones. Personally, I’m a big fan of seasonal boundaries that get intentionally revisited. Set a calendar event. That could sound like this: “for a season”—that might mean summer, or the next 2 months, or until the next lunar eclipse—“we will take any project that pays over $15k. We’ll revisit that boundary on August 31.”
A big reason that boundaries are important for a designer is that they help us be good at what we do.
Again, if identity is about qualities and values that persist across multiple areas, you can use that as a bar for your work. You might set a boundary like, “I won’t let any work go out the door that’s not viscerally beautiful.” That’s awesome! That says what’s in bounds—beauty—and what’s out of bounds—ugliness. Great designers have high standards and very meticulous attention to detail.
The problem with this boundary is that it’s not specific enough. How do you define “viscerally beautiful?” Without specificity here, it’s hard to tell if you’re inside or outside the property lines.
Many designers outsource this specificity to their intuition. “I’ll know it when it’s time,” we reason. The danger of this approach is that it’s based on our feelings. Feelings are valid, but they change, often without our permission. If boundaries are about what we agree to, feelings violate those agreements all the time. What you feel is beautiful today could be the ugliest thing in the world to you tomorrow.
Define some objective metrics for “beauty.” It might be using colors with a specific saturation range or including at least 2 photos of people’s faces. You might be able get away with more vague metrics when you’re working by yourself, but it’s pretty much non-negotiable when you work with—and especially run—a team. Without clear, agreed-upon boundaries, your team has no idea whether their work is in bounds or out of bounds. That leaves them to chase the feelings of stakeholders and clients, which often become moving targets.
To recap:
And all of it starts with this:
Design is not who you are. Design is a role that expresses parts who you are.
Your identity drives your standards.
Your boundaries protect them.
Your clarity communicates them.
Great designers don’t just make great work. They design the conditions that allow great work to happen.
And that starts with boundaries.
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