Em and I lived in the Fishtown neighborhood of Philadelphia in 2009. We had just gotten married the year before and moved into a 2-bedroom row home.

Like many young couples, we talked about kids. But we weren’t sure. Were we ready? Did we have enough money? Would we be good parents?

On our frequent neighborhood walks, we saw young girls pushing babies around in toy strollers. Some looked barely older than teenagers themselves. We whispered to each other: If they can raise kids, maybe we could too. It might be difficult. It might not be perfect. But it was possible.

Years later, I worked on a giant rebrand. The company spent almost a billion dollars. I was just one small part of a big team that included about 30 different agencies. At the first meeting, we spent an hour on introductions. I felt intimidated.

Then I looked around. I assumed a 9-figure project would be run by middle-aged suits. But most people there were in their late twenties, just like me. And I thought again: if they belong here, maybe I do too.

They say comparison is the thief of joy. That can be true. When we compare ourselves to people we admire, we only see what they have that we don’t. That hurts.

But comparison can also be a helpful reference point. Don’t compare yourself to heroes. Compare yourself to peers… or even people you detest. Think of the kid who runs a million dollar agency as their first job right out of school. The stooge who landed your dream client. The buffoon who got lucky with equity at the right startup at the right time and retired at 35.

Instead of being jealous, use it as fuel. Tell yourself:

If that clown can do it, you can too.

Yep, it’s judgy. It’s immature. A little mean. It doesn’t see people for their best selves. And it can be a very useful technique.

Comparison doesn’t always have to break you down. It can build you up. Change “why not me?” to “why not me too?” Comparison can shows that the door is open, even if someone you don’t respect walked through first.

The trick is to turn anger into action. Don’t sit in envy. Use their success as the map, not the prize. Let it remind you:

If that clown can do it, you can too.

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