He rested his elbows on the table, plopped his chin in his hands, and said with a mischievous grin, “Tell me everything.”

My wife and I were visiting London to see the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child play when it debuted. It’s a 2-show series, usually playing back-to-back nights, but we chose the option for a morning and afternoon show with a several hour mid-day intermission so we could see it all in one day. After a little Yelp browsing and Google searching, we resorted to walking around the general area to find lunch.

We stumbled upon a restaurant with a beautiful outdoor patio bar with a few people lounging. We looked at the menu and it turned out to be Michelin-starred L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon. They magically had a table for 2 open that moment. (Accio delicious lunch!)

After we were seated, our server came over, introduced himself, rested his elbows on the plopped his chin in his hands, and said with a mischievous grin, “Tell me everything.”

Then, he silently waited.

Shocked, I eventually blurted out, “Uh, I like steak.”

He nodded with a smile but said nothing.

After a few moments, Em and I started to riff on some of the food we like to eat. We mentioned what we saw on the menu outside that sounded good. We started to tell him about the show we were in town to see, that our kids were with a babysitter, that we had the day to ourselves. All throughout, he nodded in what seemed like a gesture of understanding, silently encouraging us to continue.

He only asked one more question: “What have you eaten recently that you’ve loved?” Which prompted a few more minutes of storytelling from us.

Finally, when it seemed like we were storied out, he said, “Great. How bout I bring out a few small things I think you’ll enjoy? You tell me what you want more of and less of, and we’ll go from there?”

We delightedly affirmed, and off he vanished to the kitchen.

We had an amazing meal that day.

Honestly, I can’t remember what we ate. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the conversation with server.

I use this technique now all the time. I use it to get to know new clients I consult with. I use it when I want to know how my kids’ day went. I use it when I want to get to know my seat mate on a long plane ride.

It’s such a great way to get to know someone in the way that they want to show up to you.

Too many times, I think I have to prepare a long list of specific questions when I'm doing a stakeholder interview or a usability test or customer discovery. And there’s nothing wrong with preparation. But sometimes all you need is a good opening line.

As the year winds down, I’ve been thinking about what I’ll be doing differently next year. One thing I know I’ll be keeping around is this newsletter. It’s one of the few things I’ve done consistently every week for over a year now. I’ve really enjoyed being able to share my thoughts with your, and even more so hearing back all the replies and getting to know you better. The more I know about you, the more I can write about stuff we have in common.

So, I’d love for you to reply to this or message me and let me know more about you.

Tell me everything.

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