Most of these messages start the same way: an introduction about yourself, and an explanation for connecting. So far so good.

Then, you drop one of these toxic lines:

1️⃣ “Feel free to…”

It’s usually something like “feel free to book a time with me here” or “feel free to pass this message along to anyone you think might appreciate this.”

What a kind soul you are for granting permission to this recipient to do something they don’t care about at all!

The key to good outreach is communicating that you’re here to make their lives easier somehow. Making them do work is the opposite of that.

2️⃣ “I’d be happy to…” and 3️⃣ “I’d love to…”

“I’d be happy to find a good time for us to chat.”

“I’d love to have the chance to collaborate with you.”

My brothers and sisters in Christ: someone else’s inbox isn’t your journal. Why would this stranger care what would make you happy?

Tell your friends and family and therapist what you’d be happy to do and love to do, and leave it out of your outreach.

4️⃣ “No strings attached”

My personal pet peeve.

“Let‘s set up a call… no strings attached.”

Now that’s just a lie.

There are totally strings attached. You know there are strings attached. If all goes well, you would probably like for them to hire you. Them there’s some strings, Pinocchio.

A great way to run an unprofitable business is to lie to your prospects.

What should I say instead of Free Happy Love Strings™?

If you want something, ask for it.

It‘s called “direct outreach” for a reason.

If you want to have a call with someone, don’t say, “Feel free to book a time with me. Here’s my calendar link.” Instead, say, “Would you like to get on a call? How’s Tuesday at 2pm Eastern?”

If you want to work with them, don’t just say, “I’d love to work with you and your team.” Instead, say, “Can I work with you and your team for the month of October?”

The real reason most design agency owners resort to Free Happy Love Strings™ is that hearing “no” is scary. So they don’t ask questions where “no” is a possible response.

But if “no” isn’t a possible response, then “yes” isn’t either.